I gotta stop doing hallucinogens first thing in the morning. I had this horrible vision that I got up and showered and dressed, like so many normal people do. My hair smells like papaya extract. Hmm, and so does my arm. Pretty great. And then I had coffee and set about the tasks of the day. I even replied to emails from clients, entered information into my address book, and started coding something. I only became enraged for one fleeting moment. I will even give myself a pass on that, because the target of my objection is like one of the little creatures of nature: they don’t know that they’re ugly!

Then I went outside and found a chipmunk sitting in the flower pot that contains my chives. Just keeping them warm, I suppose. I can’t wait until they hatch, releasing millions of tiny Monarch butterflies and pieces of confetti.

It’s high time Kitty Winn answered some letters, so please reply here with your awful problem, and I will put her right on it.