It’s July, hi, hi. A Boston terrier moved in across the street. I asked him if he knows Goblin Foo. He said “Who doesn’t?”

In addition to the dog, people moved into the new condos as well. I set up a lawn chair out front and loudly rated everyone’s furniture as it came off the moving trucks. One credenza was so unsightly that I tipped it into the river when the movers were taking a break. You’re welcome! It’s called a favor in my country. A mitzvah.

In another act of great magnanimity, I taught a baby to swear. I am here for you.

I don’t understand why my good deeds go unrewarded. The Swedish car assembled in Japan has a big crack in the windshield. Maybe this is God’s way of letting me know I should let the air out of Drunk Upstairs Cheryl’s tires.