Speaking of maypoles of questionable lust, you have suffered and waited long enough. The Miley Cyrus sex doll has finally gone from a draftman’s sharpened stub of pencil, to a mold in China, to your greedy paws.  It’s the Finally Miley!  We have come a long way since the Olsen twin “are they legal yet?” countdown.

Now instead of the pointless fantasy that any of our nations losers will actually get to have sex with creepy child stars, we can just plug away at her synthetic counterpart. The nation has seen itself in the mirror, and is cutting its losses. Hope it won’t turn out to be too achey or breaky, or your money back!

Just in time to wonder what this little lady is up to: