Oh boys, can’t you see that the people are trying, yet still they fail?  They seek to swim, but can only flail.  You cannot point out the splendour of being, unleashing that inner frabjousness, when most are confounded by the vast number of choices of peanut butter available to them.  (Your mistake was going to the grocery store in the first place.  They have people to do these things!)

So you can barely get your head off the pillow, blighted as it is with thoughts of your insignificance,  as well as combination skin.  I was not born with peacock quills cascading daintily from my bustle to my hustle.  No, no, what is needed here is Structure and Discipline, and the sooner you learn it, the less time we have to waste with this mollycoddling.  You don’t need a mother, she was a useless gin-soaked rag the first time around, tearing up the linoleum and screaming at your uncle.  And your feelings, well those can go by the wayside, too. They have gotten puffed up with far too many trips to the walk-in freezer, from the look of it.

We don’t like the cut of your jib, if you can call that a cut.  It has gone all wobbly.  It is time to wring out the tear stained hanky that is your life and start afresh, with nerves of steel and an unrelenting program of work, fitness, and severely cut trousers.  And for god’s sake, acquire a timepiece.  You are going to need it.