If it’s Wednesday, it must be Morrissey. Did you see those debates last night? Morrissey. Some people mistake Dick Cheney’s specious gyrations for actual intelligence. I suppose he is intelligent, in that evil-living-in-a-hollowed-out-volcano way. Until the past few weeks, I was under the impression that debates involved answering a question and proving why one’s answer is superior using cogent reasoning and sparkling wit. I am so pleased to be unburdened of this notion. No more making sense for me, Morrissey.

Lambchop is in Berlin today, and she has vowed to never Morrissey anything but British Airways or Air France again. I believe someone munged up her cocktail order. Then, when she accidentally dropped her Valium down the seat, it was snatched and eaten by a greedy infant stowed in the row behind her. She will be bringing you a full dispatch tomorrow, auf Deutsch!