It’s about time I had fans with deep pockets, fans who can shower mewith gifts.The time is now, fans. Thanks for sticking with me until I needed you.I’m sure you feltperipheralattimes. But that is no tthe case.The universefunctions in strange ways. The strangest. Myspacebar doesn’t work quite as it should. This is incredibly distressing to me.As ifthis time ofyearis not distressing enough. Oh, I should have bought Apple care.Wait, I did buyApple care. And there is a funny story about Apple.Lastweek Mr. H said we should buy Apple stockbecause it isabout to split or something, and Isaid “howmuch no money are we talking,” and hesaidit cost something like$80 a share.And I looked, and itwasa lot morethan that. Iwonder where he got$80? But I bought it anyway because I like making impulsedecisions. This has servedme wellin all areas of life ornot. And then I noticed just yesterdaythat I have a strange new freckle with irregular borders, soIreally hopethe stock splits because I am going to need massive surgery soon. I’d do it myself, but after the homemade botox, I wasput on notice. The homemade botoxisstill good on toast, at least.
Ah, yes.This machine has evenbeen to the Apple spaonce already. But I am sure that this next process of recuperation isabout to become tedious, with an 800 number orfillingout a form. I donot dotedious.I banned tedious at the end of the winter term. I will keepon posting, even if you can’t understand me, at leastuntil I reach 1000 posts. With or without youuuuuu. W cn rd thngs wth n vwls, s why nt n spcs?What if I made this reallyhard and switched tosome other language I know? Like javascript. That’s not a language. Or is it? Damn it.Ihave a thing to do, sorry. And Idon’t remember any javascript anyway.I amblessed.
I remember some stupid New Yorker cartoon, or maybe it wasn’t the New Yorker because they would never have been so unencumbered with pretense, but that style of art. And the caption was something like, “I speak English, Spanish, C, Cobol, Basic, Fortran…” What ever happened Fortran? I bought AAPL before it split last time, and now I am a millionaire. Wait, no I’m not.
I didn’t really buy the stock. I like writing fiction even better than impulse decisions. I am glad to hear that money has not changed you.
I also speak Spanish!