Glamour kitty



Oh, internet. It's a big day. I have so much fucking laundry to do, and so much work to do, and I have to ingest some calories, and probably make a few trips to eliminate waste, and the house is dirty, but that has nothing to do with the waste. And it's almost Mother's Day, and that means I have to go get a wall vase from Pottery Barn that my mother-in-law has been coveting. My own mother is sensible enough to not want one of these. It's also my little niece's birthday, and her party is on Mother's Day. My sister-in-law is offended as all hell about this, like how dare someone usurp her day to receive crappy insincere cards purportedly written to her by her one-year-old. YOUR A GREAT MOM.

Yesterday I had road rage supremo, and I soon tired of shouting insults related to the term "colostomy bag." So Hulk growl and roar. This actually seemed to frighten people, and it made me feel a lot better. It was a tough day. I had to go to a funeral, and Google Maps steered me to Main Street in Springfield instead of West Springfield, even though I clearly entered "W" in my directions. I have the print out. Behold it. I finally found the place I needed to be through sheer Spidey sense, and all was well, or at least as well as it can be at a funeral.

But get this, the cat has finally learned to talk. If I say "Who's the Kitty!!!!!" she says "Mee!" We could do this for hours. If I say "Who loves Mommy?" she says "Mee!" If I say "Do you want cheap Canadian Lasik?" she says "Mee!" I am going to be so fucking rich. With all the money I save on Canadian Lasik, I mean.

Posted 9:27 AM by Licketysplit